As the warmth of spring awakens nature, I’m struck by its effortless authenticity. Trees, grass, and plants simply respond, true to their roots. This natural rhythm invites us to reflect: are we living authentically? Are we honoring our true nature, values, and beliefs? Before we bloom into the new season, let’s pause and reconnect with what is real in us.
What is authenticity?
Authenticity, at its core, is the practice of being genuinely oneself. It involves aligning one’s actions with their true values and beliefs. This means expressing oneself honestly, without pretense or a facade. Authenticity requires self-awareness, the ability to recognize and understand one’s own internal states. It also demands vulnerability, as genuine expression often involves revealing imperfections. Embracing authenticity means resisting external pressures to conform to societal expectations. True authenticity fosters stronger, more meaningful connections with others and allows for a deeper sense of personal fulfillment and inner peace.
Why is it so hard to be authentic?
Being your true self can feel like navigating a minefield, because from the moment we’re born, we’re bombarded with expectations: families instill their values, schools teach us moral codes, and society dictates gender roles, all creating a sense of pressure to conform. Then, at work, we’re expected to represent the company, often suppressing our own personalities to fit the corporate mold; it’s like wearing a uniform inside and out. It’s easy to lose ourselves in the process, prioritizing others’ values over our own, and saying “yes” when we mean “no,” all because we crave belonging and fear the sting of rejection. Ultimately, it’s a complex web of external pressures and internal fears that makes authentic living a constant, and sometimes exhausting, balancing act. There are several obstacles that explain why we sometimes struggle to be our true selves:
Worried about what others think? Yes, that’s super common! It’s tough to be yourself when you’re afraid someone might judge you or not like you anymore.
Feeling like you have to fit in? We all do sometimes! Society can put a lot of pressure on us to act a certain way, and it can make it hard to just be ourselves. And, you know, social media doesn’t help with that! It’s like everyone’s showing off their “perfect” lives.
Not really sure who you are? That’s okay! Sometimes we need to take a little time to figure out what we really care about and how we feel.
Scared to show your soft side? Being real means being vulnerable, and that can feel really scary! It’s like showing people your flaws, which is tough.
Got some old baggage? Sometimes, things that happened in the past can make us put up walls. It’s like we learn to hide to protect ourselves, and it becomes a habit.
Craving everyone’s approval? We all want to be liked, right? But sometimes, we try so hard to please others that we forget about what we want.
That little voice in your head? You know, the one that says you’re not good enough? That little voice can really hold us back from being our true selves.
Trying to control everything? Sometimes we want to control everything so much, that we forget to just let things happen naturally. Being authentic is being present.
Feeling stressed out? When we’re stressed, we might act in ways that don’t really feel like “us.” It’s like we’re just trying to survive, you know?
How can we practice authenticity on the mat?
Next time you’re on the mat, consider practicing authenticity. It’s understandable that being fully yourself at work might feel difficult. But on the mat, you have the opportunity to pause, tune into your needs, and be present without judgment. It’s a supportive space to explore who you are. Here are ways to practice authenticity:
Become deeply aware of your body’s signals, both the pleasant and the challenging. (Awareness of pain and discomfort.)
This means paying attention to the subtle shifts in your breath, the tightness in your muscles, and any sensations of pain or discomfort. Don’t push through pain; listen to what your body is telling you.
Respond to your body’s needs with compassion and respect. (Respond according to how you feel.)
If a pose feels too intense, modify it. If you need to rest, rest. Authenticity in yoga is about honoring your body’s limitations and respecting its boundaries.
Allow your practice to be a true reflection of your inner state. (Express each pose that reflects how you are feeling in the moment.)
Each pose becomes a way to express how you are feeling in that moment. If you feel energized, perhaps a stronger standing pose. If you feel tired, a restorative pose. Let your practice be a moving meditation on your current state.
Cultivate self-compassion throughout your practice. (Be kind to yourself.)
Don’t judge yourself for not being “flexible enough” or “strong enough.” Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend.
Create a sacred space within your practice that is solely for you. (Hold space for yourself, not others.)
This is your time to connect with yourself, free from distractions and external pressures. Let go of any expectations or comparisons to others.
Embrace the beauty of imperfection. (Honor perfection in imperfections.)
There is no “perfect” yoga pose. Release the need for flawless execution and find beauty in the unique expression of each pose. Every wobble, every breath, is part of your authentic experience.
Give your practice your full attention and let go of the outcome. (Do your best and leave the rest.)
Focus on the process, not the destination. Put in your best effort, and then release any attachment to the results. Trust that your body and mind will benefit from the practice, regardless of how “perfect” it looks.
How can we practice authenticity beyond the mat?
When you’ve cultivated a sense of genuine self-expression on the mat, it’s time to carry that precious lesson into your daily life. Start small. Choose a specific time, place, or a few trusted individuals where you feel safe to experiment. Before engaging, take a moment to ground yourself with deep breaths, reconnecting with the centeredness you find on the mat. It’s perfectly normal to find yourself slipping back into old patterns of “performing” or inauthenticity. Remember, authenticity is a practice, and as the Buddha reminds us, “Just as a gorgeous blossom brilliant and sweet scented, so fruitful the well-spoken words of one who acts as well.” (“Treasury of Truth Chapter 4 Flower”) When you encounter these moments, choose self-compassion over judgment. Each attempt, each breath, is a forward step in your journey to authentic living.
Let’s break down how to be more authentically you off the mat, one step at a time, in a super simple way:
Get to know yourself:
- Think about what you truly like and dislike.
- What are your values? What’s important to you?
- Pay attention to your feelings.
Be honest with yourself:
- Don’t pretend to like things just because others do.
- Acknowledge your flaws and imperfections. Everyone has them!
Speak your truth:
- Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
- Don’t be afraid to share your opinions, even if they’re different.
- Learn to say no.
Act in line with your values:
- Let your actions reflect what you believe in.
- If you value honesty, be honest. If you value kindness, be kind.
Embrace vulnerability:
- It’s okay to show your feelings and be real.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
Stop comparing yourself to others:
- Focus on your own journey, not someone else’s.
- Everyone is unique, and you are too.
Let go of the need for constant approval:
- It is okay if some people do not like you.
- Your own approval is the most important.
Be present:
- Try to live in the moment, and not worry about the past, or future.
- Enjoy the small things.
Practice self-compassion:
- Be kind to yourself, especially when you make mistakes.
- Treat yourself like you would treat a good friend.
Keep practicing:
- Being authentic is an ongoing process, not a one-time thing.
- Don’t be discouraged if you slip up; just keep trying.
Reference
- “Barriers to Authenticity.” Psychology Today, 20 January 2025, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/race-gender-and-popular-culture/202501/barriers-to-authenticity. Accessed 3 March 2025.
- Renner, Elisabeth. “Embracing Authenticity and Vulnerability.” Lindner Center of HOPE, 2 May 2024, https://lindnercenterofhope.org/blog/embracing-authenticity-and-vulnerability/. Accessed 3 March 2025.
- “Societal Conformity.” Clarity Clinic, 26 April 2020, https://www.claritychi.com/blog/societal-conformity-and-mental-health. Accessed 3 March 2025.
- “Treasury of Truth Chapter 4 Flower.” BuddhaNet – Worldwide Buddhist Information and Education Network, 1996, https://www.buddhanet.net/. Accessed 1 March 2025.