Finding balance between strength, fear, and kindness
For a long time, I approached my workouts with a lot of intensity. To be honest, I’ve done it mostly out of fear—the fear of losing the strength I had built. My ego didn’t want me to lower the weights, so I kept pushing myself, holding on to what I had.
But as I get closer to my 50s, I can tell my body is telling me something different. As I listen to my body intently, I can sense more discomfort in my joints and nagging pain in my back. This new experience has brought me to a conflicting question between “should I continue to push myself?” or “should I adjust my routine?”
Because I am a yogi, I choose to voluntarily adjust my routine.
So lately I’ve been lowering the weight and increasing the repetitions. I’ve cut back my strength training to two or three times a week. And on days when my body feels tired, instead of fighting against my own ego and pushing through, I’ll just go for a simple walk in the park. So far, I feel pretty good.
I don’t feel like giving up my strength. It feels more like being mindful, like I’m learning how to work with my body in a loving way. I also feel like learning to find the mutual landing place between my ego and peace.
That said, I’ll be honest, it’s not always easy. There are moments where I feel a little defeated… Aging can feel a bit awkward at times but humbling at the same time. In the middle of all that, I’ve found something else—a little more space, a little more ease. A quieter kind of strength where my body and mind can actually work together. And amidst this experience, I realized that I’ve just practiced ahimsa.
What is Ahimsa?
In The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (2.35), translation by Sri Swami Satchidananda, it is said:
“In the presence of one firmly established in nonviolence, all hostilities cease.”
Ahimsa is one of the foundational virtues of yoga. It is often translated as nonviolence or non-harming. At its heart, ahimsa invites us to live in a way that reduces harm to ourselves, to others, and to the world around us, including animals and nature.
What does Ahimsa really mean?
I’ve found that practicing ahimsa is about so much more than just avoiding harm. It’s a personal commitment to cultivating kindness, patience, and true understanding. It encourages me to build peaceful, harmonious relationships with myself, with the people in my life, and with the world around me so that I can coexist with a genuine sense of safety and mutual respect.
But of course, there is a time I feel tension when I meet someone new, experience something new (like not being able to push myself to lift weights as I used to!), or receive harsh judgement.
This is where I actively practice ahimsa. First, become aware of tension in my body, then notice the rhythm of breath. This often helps create a little space between my feeling and reacting. In this space, magic can happen. My tension can soften and empathy can grow. I can move away from hurting myself or others and focus on restoring harmony.
It’s hard to practice like this all the time, so I try to pick a time of the day to consciously choose to be gentle and clear in how I think, speak, and act.
Ahimsa in how we respond
When our actions are driven by ego and/or ill motivation to hurt others, suffering continues to deepen. We cannot win, dominate, or control fear with fear or anger with anger. It just escalates, creating a never ending cycle of conflicts and sufferings.
I encounter this a lot on the road. One car cuts in front of another car, and the driver in another car attempts to cut in front of the car that passed him. The road rage could be easily escalated to an accident, which would create suffering to many drivers.
Ahimsa offers another way.
It invites us to respond to fear with awareness and kindness. This doesn’t make us weak or passive. It’s an active practice of connecting with our inner wisdom and love, helping us to respond compassionately rather than react blindly. If all of us could share the spirit of ahimsa, I am certain that we would see less suffering in us.
Practicing Ahimsa in daily life
A good place to start is to notice small moments, listening, and adjusting:
- Feel the sensation of the body in unfamiliar situations, and tell your body it’s okay to feel this way.
- When fear/anger arises, can you pause and sense the initial sensation in the body before reacting?
- When the ego pushes you to prove or protect, can you take a breath to soften just enough to see what’s happening clearly and give yourself space to respond kindly?
You can pick a time of day to practice ahimsa; maybe next time you are at the meeting. Ahimsa is not about being perfect. It is a continuous process of refining how we can serve ourselves and others with a harmonious vibe. And over time, we all begin to walk with a sense of quiet peace and ease.
Key Takeaways
- Ahimsa is practicing non-harming toward yourself, others, and your environment.
- Pushing from fear or ego can create subtle harm, even in growth.
- True strength includes the ability to listen and adjust.
- Non-harming is not passive—it’s choosing conscious, balanced action.
- Ahimsa is an ongoing practice of awareness, not a fixed destination.
Reference
- Satchidananda, Swami, editor. The Yoga Sūtras of Patañjali. Translated by Swami Satchidananda, Integral Yoga Publications, 2012